Spank Much?

A few months ago I was in a single rut and was looking for some action. Being in a new city and lacking the usual list of possible hook ups that one acquires, I joined an online dating service. It was interesting; the messages I would get from men were sometimes hilarious, sometimes creepy, and sometimes disturbing. Once I got a message from a married 40 something man who was looking for a ‘young girl’ to play slave in his and his wife’s sex games. After considering the offer I decided against it.

After a few weeks I found a guy who seemed normal. His picture was attractive, he was 26 and worked in the City. We chatted online for a few nights and then decided to meet up. We had discussed the premise of this encounter, we both wanted sex, so the plan was I would drive to meet him, and we would check each other out then decide how the night would go.

So I left my apt, a little nervous because I was driving to some guys house I met online. I got their and we drank a bottle of wine and watched some nondescript movie. I became indecisive- to have sex or not to have sex?

Finally I gave in to his sincere advances. So we made out for a while and then made our way to his bedroom. While undressing he slapped my ass. A little surprised and kinda turned on we continued with the foreplay. Then he slapped my ass again, and again… by this time I was confused. “why does he keep doing that” I thought. To this guy all of foreplay was ass slapping, no neck kissing, nipple teasing, just SLAP.

I figured that if we just got down to the sex he would stop slapping my ass so much. And for a minute it worked. But just as I began to get into it he started up again. He started saying things like “you’ve been bad girl” and slapping my ass. Or “Im gunna make you sore” and then SLAP.

In the end our internet hook up didn’t last. He did make me sore, just not the kind of sore I wanted…

The Midnight Groper

This past summer was rough for me. My job didn't need me for the summer and I couldn't find a new one nor a paid internship. I continued my unpaid internship and took one class, which left me with a lot of free time. One night my good friends "Christopher" and "Mark" came over to hang out. We drank and hung out for a while. Mark left and Christopher stayed. We decided to play a board game. It was an uneventful night for the most part.

Then I started getting sleepy. I was laying on the couch and Christopher was sitting at the other end. I fell asleep and woke up to him moving to lay down next to me. I didn't mind too much because he is such a good friend of mine; I just figured he was drunk and wanted to cuddle. I had a hard time trying to fall back asleep because he was there, and especially because his hand kept creeping up on me. First it was just on my stomach, but it slowly went onto my breasts. He then moved under my shirt and under my bra. The whole time I was pretending to be asleep. Yes, I could have stopped him, but I was intrigued that he was doing this and decided to see how far he would go. When he put his hand on my vagina I got up. Too far!!!

This has never come up in conversation. Christopher is still one of my best friends, but I think of him a little differently now... WHO THE FUCK GROPES THEIR FEMALE FRIENDS WHILE THEY ARE SLEEPING?

Most Embarassing Sex

This story takes place when I was 19 and fairly new to the world of sex. I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of a couple months, who I fell out of love with shortly after. I tried to break up with him, but he was under the spell that most men experience when they meet Jizzy; he convinced me to stay with him and try to work it out. I never really fell back in love with him, though we stayed together for another few months.

I auditioned for the campus radio show and got selected as a new DJ. There I met the most beautiful boy I had ever seen. There was a party for the new DJs and after consuming quite a bit of alcohol, I hit on the boy and we had sex in someone's bedroom. This was the first time I cheated on my boyfriend and the second person I had sex with. I had never seen a penis so large in my entire life! To this day (and let it be known that I have seen A LOT of penises) I have still never seen one that big.

I had sex with the boy (we will call him El Grande) more after that. He was a freshman and I was a sophomore, and we used to have sex in his dorm room when his roommate was gone because mine thought what I was doing was unethical. I always liked going to his dorm because the other boys were funny... and they didn't seem to care that El Grande had a girlfriend living in New Mexico or some shit at the time. They supported our "secret relationship" as we called it.

So, one time we went to my friend's house together where we drank a lot. We went back to his dorm to have sex. It, of course, felt amazing because of the ridiculous size of his penis. I didn't realize it until I heard it... I had started to pee in his bed! He was behind me so luckily nothing got on him. I was so embarassed and didn't know what to do or say. The first thing that came to mind was "female ejaculation." I backed it up with "evidence" taken from the Vagina Monologues, which I had performed in a few months earlier. For some reason he bought it! He asked lots of questions and was very intrigued. I couldn't believe it...

We had sex a few times after that, but he decided to end things because he was worried I would get drunk and tell his girlfriend who was moving in with him over the summer. I broke up with my boyfriend, who still wanted to be with me even though I cheated on him. I see El Grande every now and again, and still wonder today if he ever realized that I actually peed in his bed while he was fucking me from behind.

what happens in the hot tub...

It's all still a little fuzzy. I guess that's always how the morning after sorted alcohol induced sex is... you wake up faintly aware that mistakes might have been made, searching your body for clues.

My hair is wet, the smell of chlorine permeates from my sheets, and I'm naked. Interesting.

"Check the phone" I think. That's always a source of documentation, text messages don't lie.

It starts coming together.

We were drinking apricot beer (and who can just have one of those) when lets call him 'in a relationship' came over. I was keen to test the limits of my friendship with 'in a relationship', and J was just down for a night of inappropriateness. The conversation verged on sexual foreplay, as we played our favorite game "never have I ever" mostly because we enjoy shocking newbees with the extent of our sexual experiences.

And just like that 'in a relationship' suggested we take this party of three back to his house to enjoy some Tequila and hot tubing.

I thought "well this is going my way"

J thought "Hot Tub!"

'In a relationship' wasn't thinking with his head.

A few shots later we jump in the hot tub. Im still a little shy, not sure where this is going, luckily J isn't. All of a sudden we are making out and somehow our tops come off. 'In a relationship' is still not thinking with his head, so there are three tequila soaked tongues kissing, six sloppy hands traveling from body to body, and a pulsing of sexual energy building.

Naked, and on the verge of black out drunk we stumble towards his bed. Knowing where this is going J and I take control of the situation. Doing what bisexual girls do best, we put on a little show, that poor 'in a relationship' is in no position to resist. Then his phone rings- its the girlfriend- so we are done. Still naked we run around looking for our clothes, waking up the roommates who are confused why two naked girls are screaming and running around the house. Once we find a quorum of our clothes we are gone. Walking the three blocks back to our house holding hands for stability in our drunken state.

Halfway back we realize we forgot most of our belongings, including a cell phone, bathing suit top, and wallet.

Its the morning now, and missing our belonging we contemplate going over, but it feels a little awkward. Luckily when we walk outside our stuff is stacked neatly on the porch. 'In a relationship' must have wanted to avoid our walk of shame back as much as we did.

Another night of Jizzy over, we walk to get some coffee and reminisce about our first time in hot tub. Laughing about what we can remember and imagining the parts we cant...

and so it began...

I thought it only fitting to start at the birth of my sexual life, or at least the birth of sex that "counts" according to good folks like Bill Clinton. The loss of my virginity. For in America (and even more so elsewhere) a young girls virginity can be worth more than her life.

Unlike most of my teen aged peers I waited (and waited) to have intercourse. Oral sex, hand jobs, titty fucking, aside I was a virgin until I had graduated high school. But on the subject of "sex acts" vs. "SEX":why was I okay with giving hand jobs in the school bleachers, getting fingered under a blanket while watching a movie with my parents in the living room, or letting my boyfriend fuck my tits and cum on my face, while being opposed to "sex". I guess the obvious answer is pregnancy. But virginity for the sake of purity, Holiness, and goodness, I lost that long before I first had "sex". In some later entry I promise to go in depth into my early sexual experiences, as I know plenty of pervs who want to know what little 16 year old Jizzy was into, but this story is about losing my virginity so let me get back to it.

It was July, in Arizona July is so hot walking outside is like opening the oven and putting your head in. I drove down to Yuma Arizona to visit my boyfriend at his new college dorm. Now being that this was Arizona girls were not allowed to spend nights in the boys dorm so I had rented a room at a cheap Motel 6 down the street. So it was all set, too hot to go outside, cheap hotel room, young high school sweethearts trying to make it honest in the cruel world of adulthood.

We were both nervous. I'm not sure who was more so, but I, the practical one, braved the heat to walk to the 7-11 and get some condoms. I bought the Lifestyles box because I thought "I am alerting my life, might as well do it in style" and to this day I prefer Lifestyle condoms (although Durex makes a pretty good rubber too).

So we had a bed, condoms, and two out of control sex drives. We skipped the foreplay (we'd been doing that for years) to get right down to it. Fucking. What we had come so close to doing so many times before.

And... Fuck it hurt. Now I don't know what every ones first time is like but Jesus! I was not a fan. I now firmly recommend that every young girl loose it to some guy with a small dick to avoid the pain I felt that day. 9 inches long and as wide as a fist was too much for this little virgin. I think we fucked three times that weekend and each time I was making funny faces, not from orgasms but out of sheer pain.

If it wasn't for the soothing powers of the tongue my pussy would have rebelled and closed up shop.

So it was done, my virginity gone, lost in a Motel 6 to a boy with a big dick and a great tongue. The world of sex had been opened to me and I walked right through that door and never looked back.

Intro to the Jizz Files- FAQ

Hello readers,

WARNING: this blog is meant for adults with an interest in sarcastic, graphic, sexually explicit and drug filled stories written by well educated yet unabashed young women. Anyone who might take offense to these topics (sex and drugs) should refrain from reading any further. Also anyone who might have been in a relationship/slept with Jizzy LaHolz should NOT read unless they are prepared to read about their own shortcomings through her eyes. I feel this warning has been clear, so please no drama!

FAQ:

Who is Jizzy?

Jizzy is the composite personality of young feminist liberal women who have a wild sexual side. These women have bonded over their immense dissatisfaction with men, their somewhat unorthodox beliefs about sexuality, and their tendencies to get shit faced and make poor choices.

Are the stories on this blog true?

Yes. All the stories posted on this blog have indeed happened. Some stories may be composites, blending two or more like events into one story, and obviously names and places have been changed. But lets be clear: we lived these stories, and we wrote these stories for your entertainment.

When will the next story be posted?

That remains a mystery. Jizzy LaHolz lives multiple hectic lives and cannot be expected to write down her amazingly hilarious and heartbreaking stories on schedule. Obviously she will do her best to keep her fans updated. The more comments Jizzy gets on past blogs the more likely she will be to spend the time writing and publishing her stories.

Why did you create a blog?

There was an overwhelming demand for a female perspective on promiscuity on the Internet. I do not mean sluttiness, because Jizzy is not a slut. She is empowered, and part of being empowered means owning your sexuality. Often it seems like male promiscuity, highlighted by authors such as Max Tucker, is deemed acceptable youthful prowess, while women who are sexually adventurous are seen as threats to the patriarchal system and systematically undermined and devalued by a campaign of name calling and religious pandering. Well Jizzy reverses that hierarchy, claiming her rightful position on top (yes, I mean to imply she enjoys being on top during sex boys). This blog is meant to be funny, entertaining, and also to promote the freedom of young women to have sex, talk about sex, and laugh about sex.

Also Jizzy wanted a way to laugh with herself (or parts) about the fun times she has had. Girls just wanna have fun!